Resources to Help You Hug Your Fear
Books:
I love to share the resources that have helped me hug fear and learn how to be more of myself in the world. This is the space where I share those with you.
As a disclaimer, the links to the resources mentioned here are affiliate links, which means that if you follow the link and decide to buy, I will get a small commission on the sale (it’ll cost you nothing extra). I only do this for resources that I’ve used or from those used by people I trust and if you like this blog, it’s a nice way to support the mission. Enjoy!
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers Ph.D.: This book started it all for me. Dr. Jeffers’ 5 Fear Truths were paradigm shifting: 1. The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow. 2. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out…and do it. 3. The only way to feel better about myself is to go out…and do it. 4. Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I’m on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else. 5. Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.
Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes: Throughout my journey through fear, one of the things I had a hard time getting a handle on was the physical symptoms of fear. Often I would be so bothered by them that I would panic. Reading this book was an integral part of learning how to accept and understand what was going on in my own body which is really what hugging your fear is all about.
The Dance of Fear by Harriet Lerner, Ph.D.: The subtitle of this book is Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self and that perfectly explains what this book teaches. Like Dr. Weekes’ book, Dr. Lerner has a very kind and sympathetic style of writing and I felt very comforted while reading it.
Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns, M.D.: This book isn’t about fear specifically, but I’ve turned to it time and again and I find that it can help with fear. The book presents cognitive therapy techniques to treat depression. Cognitive therapy deals with questioning the thoughts that might be in the way of you living an emotionally healthy life. Dr. Burns shares many exercises to help remove cognitive distortions and I find that people who struggle with fear, although they might not also struggle with depression, often struggle with cognitive distortions.
Everything I Know by Paul Jarvis: Paul Jarvis’ main vocation is designing awesome websites, but I found him through his blog and his writing style is honest and straightforward. In Everything I Know, Paul shares some of the insights he gleaned working for himself and as you can imagine, he’s no stranger to fear. One of the tactics that Paul uses that inspired me was moving through his fears progressively.
Pulling Your Own Strings by Wayne Dyer: Wayne Dyer’s book is all about how to avoid being a victim in your life. If you’ve ever been afraid to be who you are and to stick up for yourself in your life and with others, this book is a good read.
If the Buddha Got Stuck by Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D.: This was such a beautiful book all about helping you move forward if you were stuck. As you can imagine, fear plays a huge role in keeping many of us stuck. It’s a part of a series of “If the Buddha…” books and you don’t have to be Buddhist to benefit from it. I read it at a time when I was feeling stuck and it gave me such comfort and inspiration.
Strip Off Your Fear by Betsey Talbot: Strip Off Your Fear is geared toward helping women who have been “good girls” – those who are afraid to be, do or have what they want – learn how to move through fear and become confident. It’s a fun read.
The Now Habit by Neil Fiore, Ph.D.: This book about procrastination is written with us fearful folks in mind. I found it really helped get to the fearful mindset behind procrastination and gave some solid and practical tips on how to get more done, worry less and even incorporate more “guilt-free” play into our lives.
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, Ph.D.: This is another beautiful book. The subtitle of this book is Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are. One of the main fears we often come across is the fear of not being enough and Dr. Brown shares what she’s learned through her study on what she calls Wholehearted living which is all about living “from a place of worthiness.” Dr. Brown describes it best here: “Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”
Other Helpful Things:
Calm App One thing I resisted heavily was meditation. Sitting there focusing on my breathing or sounds felt hard to me and sometimes made me feel more anxious. Lately I’ve been really enjoying the meditations I found through the Calm app. There are so many options to choose from: a daily meditation on a certain helpful theme, meditations on a variety of helpful topics like stress and anxiety, calming nature sounds and backgrounds, soothing music and more. Learn more here: https://www.calm.com/
Weighted blankets have been used over the years to help reduce anxiety and improve sleep. I’ve been using one from Weighting Comforts and I find that it’s been helping me feel more relaxed when I’m lounging at home. I especially like using it while I’m on the couch reading. A good blanket to try is this one.
Let me know if there is a book or other resource you think would be helpful for me to read and share with the community. Send me a note here.
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